I went to the doctor on Tuesday.  Well, wait I should probably back up a bit.  A couple of weeks ago I went to the doctor because I was having pain in my knee. While I was there I mentioned that my thumb had been numb for about 2 months or so.  She slaps me in a wrist brace for a week and tells me to go see a neurologist.

I wasn’t sure about seeing a neurologist but I went along.   Tuesday rolls around and I waltz into the neurologist’s office thinking that I’ll probably end up with a few exercises and maybe a different, more effective brace.  That is not what happened.

The first thing the neurologist does is start pinching my arm and hand.  “Does that hurt?”  “Does this hurt?” and so on.  Then he takes out this rubber ball that’s connected to what appears to be a large metal file.  It was weird.  Anyway, he bangs around on my joints for a while and says it’s time to hook me up to the machine.

It looked harmless enough at first.  A few wires attached to my hand, green lines lighting up a small monitor. No biggie right?  Wrong! 

To go along with this machine is a handy little tool that took its roots somewhere deep in the dungeons of the ancient world.  It’s a small rectangular shaped box with 2 metal prongs on one end of it.  The neurologist placed those prongs against my skin and pushed a button.

ZAP!  He fucking electrocuted me and when he did it my arm went flying. I was shocked and surprised for a minute.  He laughed and held my arm down on the table and said, “You can’t be doing that, you’re pulling the wires out of the machine.”

Then he electrocutes me again. 

The first time wasn’t so much painful as it was surprising but the second one was accompanied by a deep throb.

I guess electrocuting me twice wasn’t giving the neurologist the data he needed.  So he did it two more times for good measure.

As if I hadn’t just taken a beating he proceeds to squeeze my arm between his thumb and forefinger as hard as he can while he asked, ‘does this hurt?  does that hurt?” 

Ultimately he concluded that I could benefit from two cortisone shots in my elbow and an order for a MRI on my neck.

The cortisone shot scared me.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that the actual shot itself did not hurt.

I was unpleasantly surprised to find that within minutes I lost control of the use of my arm and hand.  Oh, and I was also in a hell of a lot of pain.

Did I tell you that when I walked in to this guy’s office that I had no pain at all, just a numb thumb?

That’s medicine for you.

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