Woman finds 1200 pound horse in her swimming pool - That says it all doesn’t it? An award winning show horse named Mountain, from Knoxville Tennessee wandered on to a strange woman’s property and fell into her swimming pool. When she discovered the cold, shivering animal she called for a wrecker to remove it.

Could your skull be found in the local Halloween display? - Professors at the State University of Illinois thinks it could be a possibility… finding one of their skulls in the Halloween display that is. The Anthropology department came up one head short and so the professors are checking the Halloween displays to see if it turns up. They claim that a skull was taken from one of the classrooms recently and that the only thing they can think anyone would want with it is for decoration. If you happen to see their skull, please give it back to them.

Ex-wife tries to kill husband with cocaine - All I can say is this is one bitch you don’t want to piss off. Patricia A. Reiman, a Pensylvania woman called up her husband’s current girlfriend and asked her to spike his coffee with cocaine. She went so far as to take the cocaine to the girlfriend who later told the man. She has cooperated with the police and set up a sting in which she called Reiman and told her she had done the deed and that he was dead. Reiman had hoped the cocaine would aggravate her ex-husband’s heart condition and cause “his heart to possibly explode and kill him.”

Dumbass survives 9 story fall in his underwear – What else can I say except that a dumbass was walking back and forth between upstairs apartment balconies on a wooden plank, wearing only his underwear and fell off. What a stupid fucker.

Fecal matter, toilet paper, hair, lint, rancid grease, stomach acid in bottled water - I couldn’t make this shit up. The North Davis Sewer District in Syracuse Utah hands out bottled water with labels that list these things in the ingredients. Also in the ingredients are: trace amounts of Pepto Bismol, chocolate, urine, body oils, dead skin, industrial chemicals (aluminum, copper, zinc, lead, chromium, nickel, molybdenum, selenium, silver arsenic, mercury,) ammonia, … soil, laundry soap, bath soap, shaving cream, sweat, saliva, salt, sugar. No artificial colors or preservatives. Some variations in taste and/or color may occur due to holidays, predominant cuisine preference, infiltration/inflow, or sewer cross-connections. Good thing they completed that expansion project.

Man is zapped in the penis by lightening – This didn’t exactly happen this week but I thought it was so funny I had to post about it. Apparently a 29 year old Croatian biker was taking a piss on the side of the road when he was hit by lightening. He was wearing rubber boots so the lightening went through his dick. When he woke up in the hospital the doctors told him that his penis would function normally…eventually. I would like to know when eventually is and I’m sure he’d like to know too.

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